7th April 2007

I found a lump in my right breast about 6 weeks ago probably because it was throbbing.  My doc agreed it needed checking out but we both surmised that it was probably just a cyst due to its nature – cysts are usually painful and moveable like my lump, cancers tend to be the opposite.  I am fit and healthy and there is no family history of cancer so I put it down to ‘joggers breast’ due to all the running I do and waited for the breast clinic appointment.  I watched the ultrasound being done and knowing a little about them, I thought: ‘Hmmmm, that lump looks a little bit solid to be a cyst’.  I was right and needed a mammography where each boob was squished flat between glass panels and x-rayed.  It wasn’t pretty so I kept my eyes to the wall. 

The auxilliary nurse admired my Merrell trainers whilst we waited for the biopsy and we talked shoes but I was feeling pretty jumpy by now because my ‘joggers breast’ logic was looking less likely.  After that I had a biopsy which was quite painful despite a local anaesthetic.   I am good with needles, but the gun device that was used failed to extract any tissue on the first 3 attempts.  Thankfully, the next 2 were successful.  The consultant said that hadn’t happened to him in a year and it was because the lump was so hard.  I rang my brother Tom for a lift home because I was feeling pretty sore by now and a bit scared and the thought of 2 buses home was not good.  “They shot me!”, I said. 

I waited 2 days for the results and felt really lonely during those 2 nights.  I am single and I would wake up thinking what if…?  I looked up ‘hard lumps’ on the internet and saw that it could indicate cancer.  However, the right boob was less likely to have cancer than the left and I was still thinking about how healthy I was.  Also, my sister-in-law, Ali, was diagnosed 2 and a half years ago with breast cancer at the age of 33 so I thought it would be too freaky for it to happen to me too.  Most breast cancers happen to women over 50.  I thought it would turn out to be just a harmless lump thing.